she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
