Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
