that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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