He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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