I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
