I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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