Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
