It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
