If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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