Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
