i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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