Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dear god my vagina.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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