I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
