just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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