He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
