And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize