Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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