Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
