If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
