i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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