we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize
