playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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