Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
