This girl is more easily done than said...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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