bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
