Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
