does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
