Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
