it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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