But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
