from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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