I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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