in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
