did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
