Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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