yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
