I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
