sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
