After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
