so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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