I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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