Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
