Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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