Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
