Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
