There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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