I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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