she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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