At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
