Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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