No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
