Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
