Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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