evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
