yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
