If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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