I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
