Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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