Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
