Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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