Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
