Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
