I'm really into asian looking animals
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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