You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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