don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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